From that thought came this one: What drives you? The things that you can control or the things you can't control?
If it's the latter, you're going to spend a lot of valuable time chasing your tail, just like a lot of amiable pups - spinning in circles instead of using that critical time and energy to propel yourself ahead.
Prime example of something we cannot control is someone else's moods. Yet how often do other people totally throw us off our game? Dare I say, perhaps sometimes on purpose?
An example: A few years back, I spent a lot of hours untangling a nightmare which took someone else a couple of years to create. In the end, I was pleased that it was sorted, and I was just a few tweaks away from having it put to bed permanently. Perfect.
Perfect until someone decided to get in a snit about a completely unrelated tiny detail, not time sensitive, and on my radar screen, that had to wait while the nightmare scenario was rectified. If looks could kill ...
If this had happened in my world 20 years ago, my day would have been ruined by the other person's mood. I would have lost focus on the task at hand as I turned myself inside out in order to please them - letting go of my own goal. In this situation, though, I calmly kept my eye on my prize (which I could control) and informed them of the timeline to complete the minor task. I did not lose my focus on my goal in order to attend to someone else's goal, at the whim of their moods.
I realized a long time ago that one of many things I have no control over is the moods of others. Therefore, why let that derail a productive day? So someone pouted for 10 minutes. Big whoop. If they can't put on the big girl/boy knickers and get over it, too bad.
Control or be controlled. Pick one.
There are many things such as this that we cannot control in life and we need to learn not to let them derail us. But that isn't to say not to be mindful of them. In the above scenario, I took the feelings of the other party into consideration and respectfully informed them of the timeline when they could expect said detail completed. To not pay attention would have been both irresponsible and rude - unacceptable. We can maintain control without being becoming bullies or bullish. Maintaining motivation and focus calmly wins the race.
Close to most of our hearts is the example of weight management. Do not focus on the numbers on the scale. You cannot control what they do. You CAN control your actions which contribute to your body's health and metabolism - diet and exercise. So focus on these things which you have complete control over and the numbers on the scale will eventually take care of themselves. If you obsess about the numbers, you will spin out, lose focus, get discouraged, derail your diet and exercise plans and not achieve your goal.
Then there's the weather. Here's an example of a force that can control both us and our grand plans, as anybody can attest, who has ever spent the weekend in an airport, waiting for fog to lift! It's an equalizer because nobody can control the weather - not even the people who seemingly strive to control your day. Some forces are simply beyond our control and yet we have no choice but yield to them! When it's not quite as obvious as the weather, it takes discernment to determine accurately those forces beyond our control to which it is wise to yield. If you're accustomed to allowing yourself to be derailed by everything and everyone, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
Keep your focus. Just as driving a car, where your focus goes, that's where you end up. In this light, being a control freak is indeed a compliment. It means that we get where we're going. Now some people go to heck with it, develop tunnel vision, and run over anybody who happens to be along the path. This is not focus. Being focused does not equate to being selfish. We can help and encourage others on the way to their goals, without losing focus on our own. Kindness costs nothing. It is being a doormat all the time, to the detriment of our own goals, that is problematic. Being kind is always the right thing to do.
Where do you want to be? How do you plan on getting there?
To not keep focus will put you on the floor, with the dogs, chasing your tail. Sure, if enough of you are all down there on the floor, you might play well together, bark, and have lot of fun, but years later you'll still be in the exact same place where you started, while the focused people got to the finish line, then very likely refocused and established new goals and began moving towards them. All while you were playing around.
If we aren't consistent and if we constantly fail to achieve our goals, eventually we will lose our credibility and look something like another great tweet of Mr. Gokey's:
"How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?"
So what's it going to be? You going to take control or be controlled? It's one or the other.
